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January 06, 2007
The nature of the beast
I've tried semi-consciously to avoid whining about my own problems on this thing, because the world hates whiners, and with good reason. So I hope you'll indulge me a bit.
I don't know what's going to happen with the posting rate this semester. I've been doing a pretty good job of taking the blogroll and turning it into a useful links page for me, and that's probably going to continue. (Honestly, that was the major purpose behind the last point, and the fact that it turned into a reflection on "adult content" and disclaimers was a happy coincidence.) But deep-thinking reflections on faith, academia, the world, and sport? Probably not, unless I get into a serious rant mode.
I'm going into this semester with a good bit of fear, because I know what last semester was like. That I'm overloaded is everybody's fault and nobody's fault - whatever concerns I have about my workload are tempered by the fact that I'm surrounded by people who understand what I'm doing and why I'm doing it and are willing to go to the wall to support me, which is honestly what anybody who goes through an overload like this can ask for. In all honesty, I'm blessed, and ridiculously so.
But I'm still a bit frightened, because I know how I felt after fall semester, and I know how I work in general. I can't do anything half-heartedly. And, as many things as I see that Need To Be Done, I'm going to HAVE to do some of them half-heartedly, simply because I don't have time to put everything I want into them. And That's Okay.
Unless you're the person who I'm doing something half-hearted for, in which case it's horribly unfair.
That's what I've got to shake. And it's simple, really. More than anything else, the people who depend on me need me to be available and functional. I have to manage my schedule and my time so that I meet those two standards - I'm there, and I'm doing stuff while I'm there instead of sitting around stupored. I'm not necessarily going to be fair to every last person, at least not in my mind. Then again, the standards of my mind are about ten thousand times higher than what the rest of the world sees anyway.
This was kind of a nifty self pep-talk. Again, thanks for the indulgence.
Posted by Chuck at January 6, 2007 11:42 AM
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